some parenting advice

I have been known to say at times, maybe in front of the kids...how Olivia broke the mold when we had her. She was the most perfect. Her first birthday cake even said it, "Happy Birthday Perfect Princess". That fairy tale lasted until she was about 3 years old. Then she broke out of her perfect stage and began throwing fits. Not just any fits. Her tantrums lasted for at least 30 minutes, She would kick and wail and scream until snot was running down her face and she was bright red. That's when I began watching Super Nanny. There had to be an episode that dealt with tantrums. In the beginning I would get all upset and yell at her and tell her to stop. I blurted out threat after threat. I made promises I could never keep. "I promise if you DON'T stop crying I will put you outside...forEVER!" or my best promise was the one when I told her I will take away all her toys and even her PILLOW. It was hopeless.

This continued for years. Eventually, I began to ignore her and carry on with my day. Tantrums sometimes lasted for an hour. She would yank at my legs and throw herself onto me. I ignored her still. We never knew WHY she did this. She didn't even know. During her episodes she would say through tears and drool how her leg hurts and she would hold it and jump up and down. Then a few minutes later she had to go pee. I would calmly and not so calmly take her to the bathroom. She never went. She didn't even have to go.

In the beginning of the year we went to a friend's house for dinner. I explained Olivia's fit throwing. She, my friend, said her son does the same thing and a very experienced mother of 9 told her to give the child a cold shower. Pick them up and put them in the cold water fully clothed. Ha! I thought it was brilliant and a bit funny. There is no emotion with this punishment. No anger or yelling. I left that night with new insight on how to deal with Olivia. I admit I couldn't wait until she got into one of her moods.

It was not as easy as I thought it would be. I felt so bad sticking her in the freezing cold water. I threatened her over and over again but without her really knowing what I was talking about she would carry on and ignore me. "Olivia, if you don't stop crying your getting a cold shower!" "My leg hurts!" Zach finally said that I needed to go through with it. After a few minutes of fighting she got her cold shower. And do you know what happened? Nothing! Nothing at all. She continued crying and jumping, all while in the shower. I was not letting her out until she stopped crying. I held her under the water until she finally gave up. Now don't read this the wrong way. Her face was not in the water, I was not drowning her. A person drowning can not scream. It was mostly her body.

This happened a few more times over the next couple of months. Sometimes twice in one day. Cold showers do not work. period. Olivia would still be crying and then she would be more upset because "I wanted to wear this shirt!" She was more upset because her clothes were wet. BUT since her last fully clothed, cold shower on the 3rd day of school she has not thrown a fit or cried uncontrollably about her leg hurting or her having to go pee. All of a sudden she stopped. It has been a very long 2 years but I am glad I have my perfect princess back.

Olivia has a great smile. She loves to be held and cuddles up so close to me on the couch that I can barely move my arms or she's on my lap. She loves having me read books to her. Some nights we read 20 books. Olivia likes Kindergarten. She likes her teacher and has made a few friends. Last week I took her to the book fair (to buy more books to read), while walking her back to her class a line of 5 girls all smiled and waved at her. Olivia just smiled back at them and it was definitely cute to witness.

Olivia loves her Dad. This is what she left on his side of the bed. A Frisbee filled with leaves and foam flowers with a note " Dad ILoE" which in kindergarten means Dad, I LOVE YOU!

 Olivia is painting her owns nails. She did a GREAT job! I was seriously impressed.